A Gentle and Slow Beginning | My Thoughts in 2020

     This is totally NOT a photography related post. Well....it is because it pertains to my life, my thoughts and my business but it isn't a "typical" photography post you see from me. I figured why not use this as a platform to not only share my work but also share myself. If it works great...if not...whatever. (life motto much?) 

      By now, I am sure many of my "regular" clients that have tried to get ahold of me to schedule a session have experienced, I am HORRIBLY slow with returning messages, texts and even phone calls. I took most of January off to FINALLY grieve the loss of my father but what I didn't realize was just how hard those few weeks were going to be and how hard life is  running a business and just now, 4 months after my father's passing, my grieving process would hit me. Anyone that has lost anyone important to them knows there is ZERO timeline, expectations or graph you can follow with this process. You take what your heart and soul gives you. 

     I have looked on the internet and through books about loss. How am I "supposed" to act or feel. How am I "supposed" to function and live on after such a blow to my existence? I KNOW I am not alone in feeling this way and we ALL have felt loss but it hit me that it seems many of us do not talk about it. Many of us feel like we have a week or two to act sad but than the world moves on and the cards, the well wishes and the support seem to slowly dissipate. The pressure to "get back to work", act normal and be strong sets in and many of us fall apart in the bathroom by ourselves so no one can see we are still hurting. 

     If you have ever lost someone and it took a piece of your heart with you, you know exactly what I am talking about. There is no describing the pain of the loss and the pain of waking up each morning going on with life without a piece of your heart with you. This pain lessens more and more as time passes but its still unimaginable. 

    So my sweet regular clients, new clients, friends, family and everyone in between...I write this not as an excuse to my untimely returned messages, not to deter you from using me to capture your memories for you (please don't ever stop) and not to ask for pity from you. I write this to relate to many of you that have unfortunately felt loss, pain and sadness and have gotten out of bed each day and embraced a new life with our heads held as high as possible despite the forced smiles and aching hearts. A gentle and slow beginning.  

     I cannot ever imagine my life without a camera in my hand, capturing YOUR memories. Seeing YOUR smiles and laughter and hugs and hearts helps ME heal my heart. So please be patient with me when reaching out and wanting to book sessions...I promise I am working to be back to "normal" and nothing makes me happier than feeling needed from you. 

   - Stacey